Secret Solemn Seasonal Saddness 2024

Secret solemn seasonal sadness slowly enveloped me this Thanksgiving, and the shadowy mist made a repeat performance on Christmas Day like a grey fog of unfulfilled family winter wishes from the past rapidly rolling in. Pluto, the planet of intensity, destruction, transformation, and rebirth, entered Aquarius on November 19, 2024 until March 8, 2043. Pluto, the most distant planet in our solar system, represents death, rebirth, and delving into the deep unconscious. Being born a Scorpio ruled by the planets Pluto and Mars, it is standard for me to perceive the shadow sub-conscious tragic thoughts created in trauma, seek a holistic approach to sweep out the debris created by the suffering we all go through stored in the subconscious mind and aim to reclaim the tranquil place from which our souls commenced.

This is the time of Pluto entering into the sign of Aquarius for the next 19 years, an age profoundly affecting the entire collective unconscious on our blue planet.   For sensitive souls with tons of water in their charts, like myself, these transitional times are acutely dense, sometimes feeling like you are drowning, treading water even though they will be a turning point upwards in our shared consciousness regardless of one's zodiac sign or religious beliefs. A rainbow at the end of this severe storm. Pluto will insist on a revolution and change; everyone on Earth will be expected to evolve and adapt. Especially this holiday season, in particular November 19, 2024, triggered a massive upheaval in my soul; not only was the birthday of my only son Dante, and both my parents died towards the end of November, but the astrological phenomenon was now upon us, alongside so many people transitioning out of their bodies in just the past four years, stirring up long-buried memories of past phantoms, with visions going back to floating in the amniotic fluid of the womb that suddenly became frigid after the sudden blow of her promising prospect of marriage canceled that crushed her, my father married someone of his social class and race, which in turn lead to my subconscious self-esteem issues resulting in a pattern of picking persons who will consistently abandon, run away, leave or see only my external beauty, not my true essence. Somehow, I designed a sacred contract for my soul to emerge in this lifetime entangled in bickering, boiling blood pressures, tantrums, separation, classism,  and overindulging in spirituous mixed drinks to deal with the disappointment. Sparked by temporary madness tantrums trailed by moments of creative, gifted original art, covered in sparkles and art designed using 3D landscape paper mache oil paintings and sea shell jewelry covering my childhood home's walls. 

Flashbacks of late November 2017 came the evening of Thanksgiving,  the weekend my mother passed. My dog companion Luna, meaning Moon, a hearty Catahoula Leopard dog from the swamps of Lousiana, was under my care for a long weekend, or let me clarify, Luna was divinely placed in my life that weekend to cuddle with me to diminish the despair.   Luna snuggled up with me, instinctively feeling the grief, both looking up at the full Moon and naturally doing her part to serve a grieving soul splendidly, which is the sacred pledge of a dog's bond with humans and the divine, allowing me to release the grief with a loyal dog. DOG, spelled backward, is GOD, an acronym I learned during The One Year Seminar in 1998 focusing on the holistic healing technique of "Rebirthing" led by Jim Worsley, who learned from  Babaji in the 70s in India, who brought " Rebirthing" back to the US. If anyone desired to breathe out their birth trauma, Beverly was first in line. All those detrimental subconscious beliefs about myself, which I vowed had been cleared out with numerous Rebirthing sessions in the late 1990s, came back with a vengeance this holiday season. What's going on? I thought I flushed those lies out? We are all born with what Jim called "The original lie"; mine was " I am not legitimate." The soul inhabiting the infant's body absorbed that lie through osmosis while floating the colder-than-usual womb fluid, for during those times, not being legally married was a big deal. Especially if the man is white of a particular class, the blue blood, and his reputation with his wine, women, and song and mom being a brown-bodied person, actually named Wini Brown, a tap dancer of the 1940s, 50s early 60s, when segregation was still a thing. It indeed brought more public scandal to the mother and child with names thrown about such as bastard, mulatto child of the legitimate colored showgirl living on the other side of town. 

Coming up with creative ways to wade through the waters of this grief and shame, pulling out of my natural healing shamanic toolbox, my favorites are breathwork, kundalini kriyas, positive affirmations, and now writing publically to assist anyone else feeling this way, especially with more upheaval in store for 2025. Collectively, we are being forced to look at some atrocities, from the distant past to something flashing across our Instagram feed happening now in our hometowns. Gruesome and horrific scandals are being unearthed as Gaia or Mother Earth, is in the process of purification so her children can graduate to 5D consciousness with her. No need to rush; actually, what I hear is to move methodically like a turtle and put on your protective shell, but not a time to hide it, a time to shine bright and share your unique gift with the world as we design the New Earth. We are just at the beginning stages of this transition; if you work too hard or move towards the light too fast, you will literally burn out, unable to experience the bliss that is also part of this ascension process. First, we must have a global review, tracking back over 250,000 years ago to our ancient alien star being roots that are now slowly being released.

Not a time to live in FEAR False Evidence Appears Real. 

It is a time to remember your unique blueprint, your sacred contract with Gaia to heal yourself, your matriarchal and patriarchal lineage, shine bright wherever you go, and start slowly to a design-conscious community where war, conflict, hunger, poverty, and racial and religious strife are impossible. 

It is time to shine. We will have a happy ending; we must all feel, believe, and create it! 💫